This is part of my series on Mental Models to Understand Yourself
You have basic needs, and when they aren’t met, your body sends signals. Hunger, loneliness, exhaustion, thirst, and fear are all signals that something is missing, and you need to act on it now.
— Mel Robbins
When you stay up all night to finish a project, accidentally toss your car keys into your morning smoothie, and hit puree, you will feel cranky. (Anyone with small children is acutely aware of how a lack of sleep spawns negative feelings in kids.)
When you have too much excitement or stimulus and not enough time to unwind and decompress, you’re going to feel anxious, jittery, or agitated.
When a middle-aged man, with a bad comb-over, nearly runs you off the road with his Corvette, you’re going to feel scared and angry because your safety and security were threatened.
And there’s no talking someone out of their negative feelings. Telling them to calm down or to not feel the way they do is just going to make them feel angry, in addition to what they already feel. Telling them, it’s not that bad is an excellent way to get punched in the face.
Negative feelings are a direct result of unmet needs. As long as those needs are unfulfilled, negative feelings will persist.
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